Natural Rhythms

Yesterday I shared that routine is a safety net, not a trap. Anyone out there struggle with that feeling?

As I've been examining how to incorporate a homeschool routine I found myself paying attention to our natural rhythms. A huge mistake that I've often made is trying to force my people to fit into something I think we should look like. I like to wake up early. Not one of my people enjoyed waking early, even as little kids. An 8 a.m. start was literally hell for them.

Years ago I was telling a friend that it was so hard to get my oldest daughter out of bed to start school. She was like, "So why are you doing it? You homeschool. You can make your own schedule."

I felt like I'd been hit over the head with a frying pan. That quote about doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results being insanity rant through my head. (By the way, it was not Albert Einstein who said that. No one knows who said that, actually.)

That was the day I quit forcing my kids into my routine and started working to figure out what worked best for them.

Well, I almost quit.

I got through two teenagers and then my third one came along and I was all, "WAKE UP IT'S 8 O'CLOCK! SCHOOL CHILDREN EVERYWHERE ARE HALFWAY THROUGH THEIR DAY! WE HAVE TO READ THE ILIAD AND THE ODYSSEY RIGHT NOW OR WE WILL BE TERMINATED. WE WILL NOT MEET OUR GOALS AND THEY WILL KNOW."

Spencer was so confused, more than usual, and would get out of bed but still be drooling. No one can learn like that, with half your brain and most of your body still asleep.

Ugh. I really didn't mean to do that but that school anxiety is real. It's especially real at my house where my dad drives a school bus, an elementary school is literally a block away, buses are rumbling by at 6:35 a.m., and the line of parents texting in cars wraps around our neighborhood like an anaconda. A very, very fast anaconda.

If that doesn't put pressure on you then you must be Mary Poppins. Or Clint Eastwood. Or a scary combination of both.

My old standby routine is to pick one to three books that I read aloud to the boys while we have breakfast. They can draw or build Legos while I read. We do that for a week. The next week I add in some writing the following week. A couple of days later science is added. It's a slow and easy month-long getting back into school. 

These last two weeks I've been forcing myself to simply pay attention to our natural rhythms. When is Liam the most awake? The most active? The most receptive to do reading lessons? What is the earliest Spencer can wake up and be functional?

I also have to pay attention to me. How do I get the items on my personal to-do list done? I have to be careful with my procrastinating tendencies. I cannot decide to clean out every closet in the house, start a new intense exercise routine, or volunteer too much. These are things I want to do but I cannot do during this month of getting back into routine.

I often consider myself disorganized, but in looking it over I've actually got a number of routines that are so ingrained I forget that I implemented them!

Some places where routine makes my life easier:

Housekeeping:

Years ago I discovered Fly Lady, whom I love and adore. I just cannot handle her emails. Anyway, I read her book and implemented her system but in a way that suited me. We still use my original template, though I must admit right now we're in the middle of a lot of transitions so it's been more difficult to maintain our schedule. More on that later!



Cooking:

When my children were all little meal planning was crucial. I did the shopping most weeks at 5 a.m. on Thursdays (I'm serious. That was the only time I could tolerate Wal-Mart.) I pretty much followed my meal plan because my brain did not have the capacity to wing it for dinner.

These days, with a revolving door of people in and out of our home at dinner, meals are very loosely planned. Sometimes we have to double them. I find if I just have the ingredients for 7 meals we're good. Meat, veggies, done. Two summers ago Mom and I decided we'd go through a Southern Living magazine and make all the recipes. It was a lot of fun and now we have some of those that stay in our rotation.

Now that ultimate practice has started I'm going to need to implement more use of my beloved Instant Pot for those evenings when I'm not home til 6:30 with the boys. I'd like to get back to a regular shopping day, but I haven't found a day that works yet. It will likely be Saturday, because that's the day I have the most free time and brain space. Aldi and Trader Joe are my favorites because they're small - I can run and in out without feeling like I'll be gone for hours.

Mornings:

Coffee or tea, Book of Hours and bible reading, worship music. That's generally how my morning time goes, alone, before the people are awake. I write or I journal. Sometimes I have a candle if I can find one. Sometimes I watch a movie on Saturday or Sunday. I may listen to a podcast. If I don't have 45-60 minutes alone with God I am off kilter all day.

Now, when I had very little children, babies and toddlers, my morning time happened after they were fed and either watched a show or played. Also, personal time can definitely be napping. I just envisioned climbing into Jesus' lap and closing my eyes which totally counts as spending time with Him. I think napping is one of the most important things parents can do.

All this to say, if it all goes to heck due to illness, exhaustion, toilets exploding, or family emergencies I don't have a cow. It'll come back around. Remember - routine is a safety net not a trap! (I'm preaching to myself here)



 

So where we are now is this: we've done educational stuff consistently for two weeks. I did declare Wednesday a movie day because we were all so irritable. We watched Avengers: Infinity War because I hadn't seen it. Liam gave me a play-by-play of what was happening five minutes before it happened. It irritated Spencer. I begged them to just stop talking. It was a good time.

 

Spencer and I will sit down together this evening or Sunday afternoon and flesh out daily routines with school and chores. We do six weeks on, one week off, so we only plan six weeks at a time. That way if we don't make it to something I can add it in to the next six week chunk. Spencer is also really interested in reading right now. He's reading Edith Hamilton's Mythology on his own, so we're going to build a language arts curriculum based on his reading interests.

Did I tell you we tried to read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea but it was just too many words? I didn't know what I was reading most of the time. So we're turning to A Wrinkle in Time. 

Liam is easier. Pretty much the three R's, plus interest-led science. He's enjoying a morning basket routine. Also, he seems ready to read!

The biggest factor I need to keep in mind is our natural rhythms. How do we live? What events are taking place that need priority?

Monday we tend to be fresher, ready to work longer and harder than any other day of the week. Chores are minimal on Monday because on Sunday I tend to do a big clean up. (Unless I'm too tired and nap instead.)  Tuesdays we have a little more pressure because of ultimate practice. That will likely become our library day once I'm back in good graces with them, anyway.

Wednesday is our co-op day, so we need to keep them in mind. That's a day that will wear us out and likely not go the same every week.Tuesday night will be prep for that. Thursday will be a slower moving day. We'll likely go the Y for open swim then do a shorter school day with just two subjects. I like to leave Friday afternoons open for sight seeing trips or get-together's with friends. Not every Friday, mind you, because that wears me out.

Anyway, you get the idea. Home education is about building a love of learning and cultivating deep family relationships. My goal is to live to life together, to learn as much as we can, and to cultivate our passions through experimentation and exploration.

 

So, how do you find your rhythms?  My friend Cece said in her family that they considered school subjects bases that they had to touch before meals. I love this!  What rhythms and routines are you working in your life? Share away!

 

Be brave, misfits, and may you find your natural rhythms!

The Return of Routine

We've done it.

Our new homeschool year has officially begun. It feels good. We're still speaking and I haven't  wished the yellow school bus would come scoop up my boys one time.

Really.

This is the first year in a long time, probably since we moved, that I feel genuinely giddy about what we'll learn. A lot of that has to do with Brave Writer, but it's also where we are. Everyone is *kind of settled. Well, as settled as you get in this life.

I was pretty hard on myself about it until I looked back and realized we had gone through a series of 'little t' traumas that left us all pretty worn out.

August 2018, though, the Shepherds have their groove back!

Most days.

Some days. 

I've needed some time to get my head around how different our school is. My first two kids, my girls, are both attending college. Even though they live at home we rarely see them. I know they've come home because leftovers are gone. Or my half and half has been used. Or their pile of shoes are in the front hall. But for the most part they're just out in the world on their own working and schooling and navigating adulthood. 

It's so weird.

So now it's me and my boys. Spencer is 14 and Liam is 8. That's a spread, I'll tell you. Gone are my days of doing read alouds while my four kids crowded around me. I've had to find a different routine with these guys. It's a lot of working with one while the other does his own thing then switching out.

Brave Writer held a camp (webinars and giveaways, etc.) where I learned so much.

I've learned I need a routine.

I loathe schedules. I really do. As a recovering perfectionist schedules are the quickest way for me to quit. If I get off schedule I think I should just quit and try again tomorrow. Seriously, that's how my brain works.

I was talking with my friend, Linda, a fellow writer, and we were discussing our current situation of non-writing. I told her that I had read in many writer's memoirs that you just had to do the work of sitting down every day at the same time and writing. She told of one of her most productive writing times she was at the beach with her sister. She'd wake up and write, every day, and the words kept coming. She continued that habit once she returned home and said it was how she got her book finished.

It was duh and aha moment for both of us.

If you build it they will come.

 



I think this can be transferred to every single thing that we do. I just need a homeschool routine - not a schedule. Here's a video from Julie Bogart that talks about the difference.

Anyway, once I was home I couldn't quit thinking about what Linda and I had talked about. Every moment of growth in my life, in my homeschool, in my housekeeping, in my cooking, in my friendships, has been built on habit, or routine.

I don't like commitment. It's just part of my quirky personality. I like having room to do something more fun than the other thing I've already planned. I'd always thought of routine as a trap that I couldn't get out of.

Routine is not a trap; it's a safety net!

See, routine doesn't pin us down, it anchors us. Flibberty gibbets like me can wake up and decide it's a perfect day for hiking and exploring because tomorrow we can return to our routine. We can pick up where we left off.

Home education means walking away from public school fixings of schedules, have-to's and shoulds. That's not a knock on public education, it's just reality. When you agree to public school you are agreeing to someone else's standards and schedules.

Home education means you get to pick, your kids get to pick. You decide what's important and it doesn't have to be based on What Your Child Needs to Know When. Oh how I wish I'd never been given that book when my kids were little.

So much of our early days of home learning came from fear-directed decisions. I don't blame my younger self. I didn't know. I was doing a thing that not a single other friend was doing. All I had to compare our work to was public school and what it produced.

Home educators are doing a new thing. We cannot compare ourselves to any other system out there.

How do you feel about schedules vs. routines?  Do you ever feel trapped by yours?

Tomorrow I'll share how I came up with our current routine, how I already implement routine, and how I plan on changing the universe with routine.

Until then, be brave, misfits, and may you find freedom in routine!