Freedom and Focus

I've never done it, and I never will, but I imagine that when you jump from an airplane there's a moment of "What was I thinking?" and then you just...go.

I imagine that when your feet touch earth you feel exhilarated. I also can bet that the feeling of elation carries you for a few days.

That's how it is when you walk away from the traditional model of education.

Leaving behind everything that you were taught about education is scary. The longer I teach children, though, the more convinced I am that the current model of education does not best serve anyone.

Sure, there are children who learn, who become proficient at filling in bubble sheets and timed tests. There are children who come away from school buildings better off, even.

Do they thrive, though? 

I've always believed in the autonomy of children. Perhaps it started in my child development classes in college, but as I write this I think it started earlier. I was often treated as someone whose opinions and thoughts were valid, so it was easy for me to do the same for my kids.

Children know how they want their hair to look, what clothes they want to wear, what food they think tastes good - I've never understood forcing them to do something that they really don't want to do.

Side note: I have forgiven my parents for forcing me to eat meatloaf as a child, and I hope that mine will do the same for me. Like when I insisted that a kid wear a winter coat when they didn't feel it was necessary.

So, why do we feel the need to force education onto children?

When we first began our home education journey someone gave me a copy of the book What Your Child Needs to Know When.  I'm not sure that Stephen King's writing could freak me out the way that book did.

That book made me feel as though education was an emergency, something that took a few years to undo.

Children are natural learners. They are curious about themselves and the world around them. Children's brains are designed for growth. They will ask all the questions if given the space and time.

Children have two drives: to explore their environment and to please their parents. 

I read that years ago, though I don't remember who said it. It's a notion that influenced my parenting and homeschool philosophy.  Children cannot meet both of those needs, so I felt like my parenting needed to support both of those.

That means is that children need to be able to explore and please their parents. What that looks like in my house is different than what it might look like in your house. If science experiments in the bathtub aren't your thing, that's okay.

Find common ground with your kids.

Give them space to do their thing. A tote, a table, their own art station, free range in the kitchen every Friday; whatever you can tolerate to allow them to engage in their educational journey.

Also, modify what you are able to tolerate. 

Years ago my oldest daughter wanted her own YouTube channel. She did everything for it, and it was awesome. It caused me change what I thought of as learning. Her sister wanted grades and boxed curriculum for high school. Again, I had to adapt for the student.

I've gained so much by following the lead of my children. Not of all it has been perfect, and there are plenty of times we all looked back and thought, "Wow. That could have gone differently."

Having the room to fail is vital. My kids have learned that adults do not have all of the answers, and I have learned that we can always get back on our feet again. It's never too late to learn anything. (Even cursive. )

One of my favorite experiments Spencer has done was develop a stable fire starter for bug out bags. He gets really into survival videos sometimes, and a few years ago he wanted to learn more about starting fires. That meant I had to get over my fear of fires. 

We could have looked up which was the best, in fact I'm sure we watched several YouTube videos on the subject. Spencer wanted to learn for himself, though. Reading about a subject or watching others experiment isn't the same as learning on your own. Kids want to be sure.

I don't want my kids to take my word for it, or anyone else's.  I want them to know for themselves.

Spencer came up with several variations of fire starters and we timed each one. Vaseline coated cotton balls won, I believe, but dryer lint was a close second. It was really fun to figure out, and we both got really into it.

That's when we began to venture into unschooling. It looks different on a daily basis, and I occasionally give in to the What Your Child Needs to Know When fear. I'm training myself  to talk through with him what I think is important for him to master while listening to his needs.

I posted a comment on Instagram about unschooling that got my attention. I said, "I find that I love the freedom unschooling gives us, but also the focus." Often the truth reveals itself to me when I write.

Unschooling allows us to go really deep into subjects, or to just skim the surface. We get to choose what we need to know when. Unschooling affords us the freedom to tailor an education to our lives. We are not tethered to the notion that knowledge or skills have a best used by date.

Life is too short to be weighed down by shoulds and have-to's. 

Be brave misfits, and jump. 

I can't wait to see where we land.