A Dog's Attitude

I have the best dog in the world.

Every dog owner says that. But seriously, I do.Pumpkin Pie Shepherd is the apple of my eye. I saw her when we were leaving Pet Smart one late summer day 9 years ago. Her sweet brown puppy eyes found mine and I knew I wanted her.

I had the four kids with me, and we talked with the woman fostering her for a bit. I already knew that I wanted to name her Pumpkin because of her orangey-tan coat. I thought she'd be great for our dog, Pippin, who had always enjoyed other dogs.

But there was the money and logistics of the situation. Our youngest was barely ten months old and I'd always emphatically said no babies and puppies at the same time. Still, I told Lee about her when we got home, laughing at my ridiculous love of animals.

Then I laid down with baby Liam to take a short afternoon nap.

The creak of our bedroom door opening woke me and I rolled over to see who it was. Lee was holding that little puppy at my face. She was crying and whining and desperate to get to me, because she knew she was mine.

Having a puppy and a baby was just as crazy as I thought it would be. Liam spent more time in her crate than Pumpkin did. They both peed by the back door. Also, Liam ate dog food pretty regularly.

We joke that Liam thought he was a puppy, too.

Crate training and obedience school were family activities. Pippin mostly loved her new doggie sibling. It was really a pretty smooth transition.

Pumpkin did wreak puppy havoc, as all good dogs do. She chewed up the cushion to our love seat, chair legs and the crotch out of everyone's underwear.

One morning a bleary-eyed Lee came stumbling out of our bedroom and got himself a cup of coffee. He sat on the (still intact) loveseat as he waited for the caffeinated elixir to kick in. One of the kids stared at him in horror and then laughed and pointed and called the siblings in.

My darling husband sat confusedly looking around, smiling like he was in on the joke. I told him his boxers were crotchless thanks to Pumpkin. He told us that wasn't possible.

Then he felt his mistake. "I wondered why I felt so breezy yesterday!"

To me, life lived with animals is better.

Their eyes, their noses, their paws and their intuition are captivating. Animal behavior fascinates me and I've watched more animal documentaries than should be allowed.

Pumpkin is the kind of dog that's easy to be with. Though, she does have the terrible habit of nudging your hand with her cold, wet nose for more pets. There is never enough ear scratching for her.

Spencer, 6, and Pumpkin, back when they were both tiny.

A few weeks ago I noticed that she was drinking more water than usual. Then she had an accident in the night. I also thought she looked thinner, like way thinner.

Hoping it was a bladder infection I took her in to our vet, who I think knew immediately what was wrong with her. Her blood sugar was dangerously high. We weren't in a place financially to do lots of testing so I learned how to give her insulin shots and headed home.

Things were looking better when she got pancreatitis just ten days later. I've never seen an animal in that kind of pain before. I stayed up through the night with her before taking her to an emergency vet.

Again, we weren't in a position to pay the $5K to hospitalize and monitor her glucose and urine, and administer I.V. antibiotics. So we brought her home with what we could afford and hoped that things would work out.

Pumpkin was so weak I had to carry her out to go to the bathroom. I brought her water and pain meds every two hours through the night. I also hoped that if she died it would be quietly in her sleep. We had to have a dog euthanized after she was hit by a car and it was The Worst.

Slowly, Pumpkin got better with a diet of boiled chicken and rice, plus two insulin shots a day.

The list of things I said I'd never do to/for a pet was slowly turning into 'things I'm completely willing to do for my animal.'

There's something that happened when I realized that making her life easier, and last longer, wouldn't take much of a sacrifice from me. Suddenly doing things that had seemed impossible became a normal routine. The insulin isn't very expensive, and she likes getting the shots because she gets a bite of chicken afterwards.

About a week after her horrible pancreatitis she started running a fever again. I assumed the end was upon us.

More antibiotics and more painkillers, a bag of fluids and a lot of rest were prescribed. But we also knew this could be the end. Her little body just wasn't dealing with the diabetes well and the vet said she was in ketoacidosis.

The boys and I decided to give her the best week ever since it appeared to be her last.

Car rides, trips to the park, belly rubs. The amazing thing is she just kept getting better.

Pumpkin is thin, yes, but probably her goal weight. Her diabetes explains why she stayed heavy no matter how little we fed her.

I believe the difference was us. When we relaxed and made the decision to make life as good as possible for her, Pumpkin did, too. When she was the sickest and we were the most fretful, she was too. There's research out there that backs up my theory, as well as anecdotal evidence.

During her sickest moments, I was struck by her will to survive, but also her will to keep doing what she loved. Hearing me move her leash and harness prompted Pumpkin to attempt to get up, or at the very least wag her tail.

This got me thinking:

Even when I'm having a bad day, I can still do what I love. Also, I can choose to love what I need to do. Going on walks, making the appointments, dealing with insurance, figuring out what to feed the people; I can choose to love it, or at least do more than endure it.

I can have a good dog's attitude about life. It will wear off on the people around me. If I can't muster the strength to shift my mindset that tells me it's time for a nap, or at the very least some time with my headphones and calming music.

Be brave misfits, and love what you need to do.